


Three Shadowy Detectives

by uwunium



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: BC Noir - Freeform, Comedy, Crime Solving, Detectives, Fitz and Plasma are rivals, Gen, Houston Spies, Lighthearted, Mexico City Wild Wings, Murder Mystery, NaN is just kinda sitting there, Rivalry, THREE SHADOWY DETECTIVES, Unlimited Tacos - Freeform, contains images, san francisco lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:14:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28040703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwunium/pseuds/uwunium
Summary: The strange murder of intern-interim Prime Minister Blaseball Commissioner CEO Parker MacMillan III leaves THREE UNLIKELY BLASEBALLERS to solve the mystery and get to the BOTTOM of the case.Action!Suspense!Romance! (no)Chaos! (absolutely)Join Fitzgerald Blackburn, Uncle Plasma, and NaN, as they learn the secrets of the commissioner- but more importantly, what it means to be partners in crime (solving.)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Three Shadowy Detectives

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S FINALLY HERE! Chapter one of Three Shadowy Detectives! I've been working on this since the beginning of the Coffee Cup, and I'm SO glad to finally premiere it. 
> 
> Many aspects of this are based more on "what personality traits best fit this dynamic" rather than focusing strictly on wiki canon, so some characters might be a bit OOC until I get more comfortable writing them. I hope you enjoy this fic regardless!
> 
> Thanks to the Lovers and Spies' Honeypot event for providing a perfect platform for debuting this fic (and giving me the motivation to work on it...). Spies Win. And love also wins.

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/191392937@N03/50711956063/in/dateposted/)

After the first round of the Blaseball Coffee Cup, the immaterial plane was swarming with activity. Teams celebrating their victories or mourning their losses, players training and partying, or simply enjoying getting back into their favorite splort. 

Yet not all of the buzz was positive. Despite the players finally getting a chance to rest, their past few years had been marked with loss that they hadn’t expected from such downtime. After years on the job, becoming a well known and well loved commissioner-prime minister turned CEO, Parker MacMillan III was suddenly and strangely killed. The immaterial plane was left with many questions, and given very few answers.

Even after the loss of Parker MacMillan IIII, the next commissioner, questions were still left unanswered. As the sun set on the first round of the Coffee Cup, a few shadowy figures were determined to learn the truth.

*** *** ***

“Velazquez, the case files.” A deep, echoey voice sounded through the bunker.

“Right here.” Math said. It was hard to tell whether or not Math was handing Fitzgerald Blackburn the manilla folder, or whether it just appeared in their hand.  
“Just as I expected… Curious.” The figure holding the folder was just as hard to comprehend as Math. They were completely devoid of color and light, a cloud of smoke flaming with pitch-black cinders, as one would expect from a shadow. However, their eyes shone a bright white, their line of sight piercing anyone they dared to look at. 

“Still focusing on the commissioner?” Math said, their strange form leaning back slightly.

“There are still questions to be answered,” Blackburn looked intently at the papers in the folder, taking a puff of their cigar, “The circumstances regarding the death are unprecedented.”

“How so?” 

“You can read for yourself if you’d like,” Fitzgerald set the folder down on his desk and leaned back in his chair, “Not safe to say these things out loud, you know.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Math appeared near the folder. A few seconds of silence passed as Velazquez read a few of the papers, “Hmm. This is strange indeed.”

“Yes.”

“Do you plan to check it out?”

Fitzgerald looked at Math in what would be Math’s face. 

“I’m going to find answers.”

*** *** ***

“Liquid!” A tall, glowing being walked through the door, “How’s that data analysis goin bucko?”

“Oh! Yes, It’s going just fine.” Liquid Friend jumped a bit in surprise, sloshing the deep brown coffee-like liquid that made up their form. “Thank you for asking.”

“Say, I’ve been thinking.” Uncle Plasma pulled up a chair next to the computer where Liquid Friend sat. “Now that we’re outta the game, there are a few more mysteries I’d like to solve.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah! We’ve got time to kill. And I’ve been looking specifically at one case…”

“What is that, sir?” 

“Liquid, pull up the files on Parker MacMillan III.”

Hearing the request, Liquid turned around and typed the words into the old computer. The internal fans kicked on as the data loaded, and the 1980s era display struggled to boot itself up. However, the words soon showed up on the screen.

“This was the commissioner right?” Liquid Friend asked, “From before we were hatched.”

“You got it.” Plasma moved closer to the screen. “I think we’ve got a mystery on our hands.”

“Really?” 

“Most certainly.” Plasma pulled out a pipe and gave it a puff, muddying the indigo light emanating from their form for a few moments before they exhaled a purple, electrified cloud. “While you’re workin on the data stuff, I’m gonna go check this out. I think it could be interesting.”

“So where’s the investigation?” 

“I’m feeling… We start in Los Angeli. That city seems to be in the middle of too many strange phenomena… perhaps I could get a lead.”

“Sounds good.” Liquid Friend gave a thumbs up.  
“I’ll be seeing you.” Plasma grabbed a bag from under his desk, as though he had been planning this trip for quite some time.

“Oh, and, before you go,” Liquid Friend grabbed Plasma’s arm, “Stay safe out there, okay?”

Plasma nodded and walked out the door, leaving Friend to sit at the computer alone. Silence filled the room, as they sat awkwardly in the chair. Suddenly, the door creaked open again, and Uncle Plasma was standing in the doorframe.

“Forgot my keys.”

*** *** ***

“Wait, Fitz,” Math interjected, “Aren’t you gonna take anybody else? If you’re gonna solve this case, you can’t do it alone.”

“You bring up a good point,” Blackburn stopped, “I’ll call Reese.”

“Reese, myself, and a few others are working on deciphering the intel from the updated book.”

“Not an issue. I’ll bring Rosales.”

“Teddy’s got a derby tournament with Rosales.”

“Escobar?”

“Visiting Charleston.”

“Gods, is there anyone on this team who isn’t busy?” As Fitzgerald said these words, their phone buzzed.

(Sent at 1:07pm)

>Hey! 

>Um, sorry to bug you

>Theo said I had to get a fancy suit for the next SIBR Gala

>I don’t know how but I outgrew my old suit

>Ok back on topic…

>I can’t tell what color suit works best for…. Uh…

>Y’know…

>The whole void thing

>I know you have a lot of suits

>At least I think you do…

>Could you… Um… Send me a picture of you in one of the suits?

>Just so I know which one could look good on me!!

(Sent at 1:13pm)

>Wait, I just remembered you don’t show up in pictures

>Um…

>Please pretend you didn’t read these

NaN laid on their bed and stared at the ceiling, their phone on the bedside table. Needless to say, they were surprised when Fitz returned their call. They sat up abruptly in pure fear, expecting the worst when they grabbed the phone. Should they grab the phone? They wanted to forget about the disaster of social interaction that had just occurred. But if they let it ring, Fitz would be concerned. What if Fitzgerald was mad at them?

NaN had always looked up to Blackburn. When they met on NaN’s brief stop in Houston, Blackburn was able to inspire them to be more self-confident, despite their appearances being somewhat frightening. To NaN, Blackburn was like their cooler alter ego. 

Thus, they made a split second decision and hastily picked up the phone.

“Mx Blackburn, I’m so sorr-”

“You’re alright, kid.”

“What?”

“Don’t sweat it,” Fitzgerald was as cool as ever, “I’m actually calling because I need your help with something.”

“Wait, you’re asking ME for help?” NaN was shocked.

“I have an investigation I’m working on and I think you would be just the guy to help me.”

“An… An investigation?” NaN said, the excitement in their distorted voice rising, “I get to help you on an investigation?”

“That’s right. We’re stopping in Los Angeli first.” Fitzgerald, on the other end of the phone, grabbed his bag. “If you are okay with this, I will arrive tomorrow.”

“Yes!!” NaN said, their voice cracking a bit in excitement, “I mean- Yes that would be a great experience.” They rushed the last part out of nervousness.

“I’ll see you then, agent.” Fitzgerald hung up the phone.

With that, NaN laid back down on their bed, staring once again at the ceiling. 

“...I forgot to ask what color suit to get.”

*** *** ***

The team had been formed. The Three Shadowy Detectives were soon to take on their first case.

For better...

Or, more likely, for worse.

**Author's Note:**

> What will happen next?!?!?! Find out in the next issue of THREE SHADOWY DETECTIVES!
> 
> Action!  
> Suspense!  
> These three actually being smart! (no)  
> Chaos! (absolutely.)
> 
> *** *** ***
> 
> Actual notes: This chapter was very much a "setting things up" chapter. Things will happen in the next chapter. I promise ;)


End file.
